THE SUN UK: ‘APPARENTLY’ CARLY SIMON THINKS DAVID GEFFEN IS SO VAIN

The UK Sun is reporting, that entertainment mogul, David Geffen, was the subject of singer/ songwriter, national American treasure, Carly Simon‘s You’re So Vain song. The fact is, Geffen became Simon’s record label boss, a year after, You’re So Vain was recorded.  However, let’s go with the Sun’s story line as it is the weekend. :)

Geffen was once Carly’s record label head honcho back in the day, when he pitched Carly against her peer, Joni Mitchell, and treated Carly like she was a Solange to a Beyonce., with the way Geffen divied up his marketing spend of artists in his stable of talent.

Having met David Geffen before in Hollywood while eating pasta mafioso style at old Hollywood boy’s club haunt, Dan Tanner‘s (a great restaurant with latino staff who could sort of look Italian with a squint, serving the best American-Italian pasta in Hollywood to Jewish power-brokers and big entertainment players mainly), David is a little bit peculiar in the vanities department.

For example, when I met him, David was wearing a creme, off-white linen jacket with fine blue checks hand-printed all over the jacket’s fabric.

His team of accountants accompanying him at the time, (not one woman amongst them) were hitting the Don Julio rather hard and all wore matching creme jackets, with a slight variation of the same patterned checks in variations of green, orange, red and yellow. One of those visions that make you think you’re at pizza hutt, about to go cross-eyed at their “bold” picnic-rug branding. I prefer del taco’s branding myself. Yep, I think you get the picture. Visually, it was a little busy and taxing on the eye. Unexpected and maybe even off-corporate quirky originality–at a very creative stretch of the imagination.Some people are either “so vain” or just plain funny (depending on your sense of humor)– that their friends and work colleagues even have to dress like them, as if they are their entourage of paid possessions who have to wear a uniform in order to behave like blood hounds used for military-like precision, whose job is to hunt for fresh meat, for their master.

Which is exactly what these geeks in checks thought their job was in a social setting with a complete stranger. They had no social skills. Annoyingly, which I have been truthfully accused of not having either sometimes.

I did have Miss Elliette’s memoirs notes on the table with me at the time, which they were eyeing up. So, for the shark behavior, they can be forgiven. These men were wound up like angst-ridden employees going to fetch the next bone, while Geffen then appears cordially like Mr Cool Calm and Collected. Lol! His humor was noted, and he is actually very funny when he’s not leveraging biz partners right into the wall with his tough negotiating skills he’s renowned for in Hollywood.

To talk to he is very charming, extremely eloquent… unlike me. Just a little intimidating with the matching entourage posse. Bandits in suits. 6 against one dynamics is a bit off-putting for a hori chowing down on pasta in Hollywood. 

So yes, I do see Carly’s point on the vanities issue, if she even said this at all, which I doubt she did (she has too much class, and her music sells her, not b*tchy comments via the UK) as the Sun is reporting. Knowing Geffen, his vanity (or that of his be-chekered number-crunching hounds) probably strummed this story up himself, to sell his next slew of talented artists. It could always be denied and detracted as a misunderstanding, as that’s generally how mogul’s roll, on issues like this… after they’ve got the press from it.

Geffen is the man who even produced the (current) Pope  on a music album for “meditational purposes” (the Pope being the man who resides as a figurehead leader over an audience of 1 billion Cathloics in the world–almost 1/6th of the world’s population). Which means that David Geffen is a masterful marketer extraordinaire, like no other.

He’s even got himself right into the center of the Catholic church, with the skills he has to offer. So this story smells like Geffen’s humor to me (which is very wry and witty), with possibly even a payback, back-hander mention to Carly for perhaps Geffen starving her of her due, for all those years. An apology of sorts.

If you’ve ever read the bible or the Torah, you will know that Lucifer’s (aka Satan) ‘original sin’ ‘as the appointed ‘Director of Music’ was vanity. Meaning, he was so caught up in his own beauty, hansomeness and extra-ordinary talent, that he became a god unto himself with his created gifts to produce extraordinary music, and this meant that his music was then tainted and not suitable to faciliate true worship. Hence the Angels Vs Demons theme–that will always be a mainstay of Hollywood films. This is a Jewish town after all. In fact Hollywood is always a game or ‘which one are you’ most of the time. Good Vs Evil. Light Vs Darkness themes of Hollywood cinema speak for themselves on that.

So if Geffen really is that unbearably vain, like the Sun claims Carly Simon is allegedly saying as a weekend joke today, then the Pope has got a lot of explaining to do for letting this so called music-producing, vain-devil into the Catholic church. That was a joke… for Catholics of the UK. :)

But back to the USA… In Hollywood, true Cinderella’s (like Carly Simon) often get starved more often then they should, as they ‘pay their dues’ to other stars who–though brilliant often burn too fast, too quick.

I found the story entertaining today as David Geffen ups his stakes on the music markets front. If anything sells in a global economic recession, music does and 3D movies do also. I site Stefani Germanotta as an example of my point. One thing that Lady Gaga (a Catholic raised girl) proved this year as an unepxted, renegade, break-out artist in Beyonce’s golden year of musical performance, to the power players of the music industry–is that even in a global economic recession–a music artist with authentic talent can rise up  in the short space of year, to become one of the top 20 celebrity names of the world. Yes, the world.

Meaning for executive entertainment producers like Geffen, investment in ‘authentic’ music artists is one of the smartest ROI’s you can hope for in entertainment. That’s if, you don’t want to market your new ‘music artists’ just solely within churches. With that thought in mind, Geffen has signed the band Semi Precious Weapons to his music label–who all knocked around with Gaga in the New York club scene before she blew up.

SPW are currently Gaga’s word tour opening act, and Geffen is on a mission to lift some of Gaga’s fame onto his own stable of music talent and branding by signing Gaga’s friends with an association to her. Fame is about vanity. Wanting more share of attention than the average Joe does. Stars acquire fame, with either their talent or their actions (good or bad) to use celebrity for good in the world, or just to bask in the glories of themselves (the point of Carly Simon’s You’re So Vain song).

So this story from the UK Sun is very amusing, with Geffen’s name all over it, if he did even think Carly Simon’s song was written for him or about him. This would have made Geffen or anyone who knows him, laugh-out-loud today. Major points for having a good sense of humor, at this own expense.

And for someone, whose a newbie in America, I am endeavoring to show more respect to people who pave the way forward for a new generation of artists and leaders–this year. The b*tchy blogger thing, is not really me, I’m sort of kinder than that. Because nobody, (espeically me) is remotely perfect–nor will we ever be.  So thanks to David Geffen for giving us Carly Simon, Joni Mitchell, Beyonce and Jennifer Hudson in Dreamgirls.

But perhaps because I’m Maori and was raised on New Zealand radio tastes that were more down to earth in selecting our themes of music and artists who were worthy of being loved and getting airplay, I’m a big Ricki Lee Jones and Rene Geyer fan anyways–both mature girls of amazing song– who are just as good. :)

~Posted by Horiwood.Com, Hollywood California USA. 2.26.2010~